


Supernova

by DivergentLunarShadowhunter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 13, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Kiss, M/M, My First Challenge, Post-Season/Series 12, Quote Challenge, Season 13 Castiel/Dean Winchester Reunion, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 11:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivergentLunarShadowhunter/pseuds/DivergentLunarShadowhunter
Summary: My entry for @sillesworldofwriting's Bollywood Quote Challenge! It's the first challenge I've ever entered on Tumblr, so it was definitely hard but a lot of fun! I apologize in advance because apparently I cannot, for the life of me, write fluff. It has a happy ending, but it's way more angsty than fluffy so whoops. Hope it's not too far off from the goal of the challenge!I chose the quote “He’s not just a star, he’s my world”, which I thought would work well for Destiel, and I paired it with the S13 reunion because I never got to write a fic about that :)





	Supernova

 

He shone like a star, with a brilliance that still baffled Dean after nine whole years. How could any one being emit so much light, rays of something piercing and scorching that he somehow could never look away from? How could one puny human vessel contain all of that, all that was angelic and celestial and just all _Castiel_?

 

He couldn’t tear his eyes away, never could. Even as the angel blade pierced the tie around the angel’s neck, even as the shining eyes shifted from relief to shock and surprise and then as if in slow motion, flickered once more before going dark. Even as Cas crumpled to the ground, the angel that Dean had once seen as effortlessly immortal falling to the earth in front of Lucifer, his eyes stayed glued to his best friend as every other part of his body stopped working.

 

He was Dean Winchester. He was not the man who would freeze up or get scared or run away when faced with a monster. He was a hunter, and a damn good one. And yet that’s exactly what he did. He froze, his mind fled, he was absolutely terrified. Not only was Lucifer still alive, he had taken from Dean the one thing besides Sammy that nobody could ever take from him. If his mother hadn’t beaten him to it, Dean knew he would’ve been the one to kill Lucifer right then and there with his bare hands or die trying.

 

Because what was the point of living when the one thing leading you through this world, your North Star, has left you?

 

Nobody would understand his pain, the pain of losing an angel. He’d lost people before; so had Sam, so had everybody else they’d ever been associated with. But this was Cas and Cas wasn’t _just a person._ He was the angel who had sacrificed everything- _everything_ \- just to save the one human who had never shown him any sort of gratitude in return. Dean never deserved to have an angel watching over him, and now he didn’t even have one.

 

Because his star had gone supernova, and anyone who knew anything about anything would know that there was nothing Dean could do to bring him back.

 

It wasn’t like Sammy- no simple demon deal or bargain with Death could get him out of this one. He prayed to Chuck more times than he’d have liked to admit, but what else could he do? Angels and demons, they didn’t come back, not like humans could. But Chuck had brought Cas back once, and he could do it again, right?

 

_Right?_

 

It didn’t matter, though. Because no matter how many messages he attempted to send to the man who was supposedly God, each one more desperate and angry than the last, nothing happened. Cas stayed dead and Dean stayed wanting to join him.

 

He’d been through this before with way too many people he’d loved, but never with Cas. Never to the point where he found himself staring too long after any glance of a tan trench coat or dark messy hair or bright blue eyes. Where he spun around when he could’ve _sworn_ he heard wings rustling in the empty air behind him. Where he was unable to sleep without imaginary flashes of light behind his closed eyes as his angel’s soul was destroyed over and over and over and _over_ until finally, he reached a realization that stopped him cold. _This is how Sam felt when Jess died._

 

He tried for Sam, he really did. He blamed himself, Jack maybe, but never Sam. For his brother, he tried to act normal, just focus on the road ahead. On Jack, on the case. On normal life, not Cas.

 

But moving on seemed impossible. Nine years he’d known Castiel- nine measly years out of his entire life. To the angel himself, it was nearly humorous how little a part Dean played. A blink of an eye, a blip on a timeline of the entire universe right before the very end. He stopped thinking about it when he realized that all he’d done in nearly a decade was pull Castiel out of line in an attempt to save his own skin. All he’d ever done, all those years had ever led up to, was Dean getting to watch his best friend die. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized the whole thing was his fault.

 

He knew he was being unreasonable with the world, with Sam and especially Jack. The kid was just that- a newborn child, albeit a quite abnormally tall one. He hadn’t opened the portal on purpose, he hadn’t come into existence on purpose…but who else was Dean supposed to blame, if not himself?

 

Everything was going to shit, as it usually did when the Winchesters were involved. They were only human, after all, even if they did have some supernatural help sometimes. But nobody was really on their side anymore; no grumpy king of hell or awkward celestial being could help them now.

 

 _I just need a win_ , he’d said to Sam when he finally got close to exploding. _I just need a win._

 

_I just need Cas._

  


It was a quiet night, the subdued roar of Baby’s engine probably the only sound heard for miles. There was nothing between them and the sky, full of stars that stared down at him as if taunting him. _The stars are here, but yours never will be._ Idly, he let his eyes stray from the road to stare at them- the road ahead was flat and straight for miles, not even a tree or animal in sight.

 

A myth flickered into his head, one he’d heard when he was very young, along with the memory that had surrounded it. He’d been sitting outside with his mother one night after waking up from a bad dream, and she’d pointed up at the stars, telling him that the white dots were said to be pinpricks of light from Heaven, the night sky the only barrier between that world and the real one. _Angels are watching over you_ , she’d said as she held him in her arms.

 

 _I’ll watch over you._ The voice came back to him suddenly, words that Dean had heard so long ago that they barely came back to him now. Cas had been serious when he’d spoken, not thought anything of it; now, as Dean stared at the night sky, he wondered whether he actually had.

 

_Are you still watching over me, Castiel? Are you looking back down at me through the stars?_

 

Something caught the corner of his vision and his eyes flicked back down to the road, car jerking ever so slightly as his fingers flexed over the wheel. It wasn’t enough to wake his brother, but enough to shake Dean out of whatever funk he was in, for the moment.

 

 _Of course he’s not. Idiot._ He shook his head, as if that’s all it would take to get that stupid thought out of his head. _He never was._

 

And then the phone rang. _That_ woke Sam up, and he stared confusedly at his older brother, wondering why he wasn’t making any move to pick it up. Dean sighed- he wasn’t in the mood for a normal case, and when he picked up the phone it showed an unknown number. Unless somebody had lost their phone, it couldn't have been Jody or Claire or anyone else who needed immediate help. _Probably just a wrong number._

 

But Sammy was still staring at him, so he picked it up like normal not-broken Dean would do, and answered it.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Silence on the other end. Dean turned to an expectant Sam and shrugged. He was ready to pull the phone away from his ear and hang up when he heard it.

 

“Dean?”

 

He barely stopped his foot from slamming down on the brakes. His free hand was clenched around the steering wheel, the other gripping the phone so tightly he was afraid the screen might crack.

 

He glanced at Sam, trying to breathe through the chest that suddenly felt too tight.

 

“Cas,” he breathed.

 

Sam’s eyes widened in realization at the same time Dean’s foot shifted to the accelerator, and then they were doing seventy, eighty miles an hour but Dean didn’t care, not like cops or anybody else were out at this hour anyway. All that mattered was the voice on the other end of the phone, the voice of his star telling him where to go.

 

An hour later, as his arms wrapped around his angel for what seemed like the first time, he realized something more.

 

Cas hadn’t gone supernova. He wasn’t a star to guide Dean through the world. He wasn’t just a supernatural being to watch over him as he tried to save the world again.

 

 _He’s not just a star._ As Cas’s arms pulled him closer, as their lips finally, _finally_ touched with the heat of a thousand suns, it was the only truth he cared about.

 

_He’s not just a star. He is my world._

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Make sure to check out my Tumblr @isolemnlyswear-iamsuperwholocked for more Destiel n stuff :D


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